Saturday, Jenn made the vegetarian chili. It was amazing. We had the chili on top of chips with a dollop of guacamole and sour cream. It was quite filling and it really hit the spot! I tried to help make it but Jennie sent me away cause she wanted to do it herself. Okay, so I'll just sit here....
Still no luck on the job front. I applied at UPS online a week ago and haven't heard anything back yet. I tried to find the number online and couldn't, so I went home and looked in 2 phone books and still nothing. I finally just called a UPS Store and they couldn't even give me a number to the particular location where I had applied. He did give me a 1-800 number so I called that and was put on hold for a little bit. Finally talked to someone who was not helpful at all. "Sorry, we don't have any employment information." Great. Since the place is only 2.78 miles away from my house, I decided just to drive down there to see what the hell was going on, only to find that it was closed between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Ooookkkaaaay. This is so frustrating. Just give me some work, somebody! I'm a hard worker and very loyal, what's the problem, huh?
Well, the dreaded day is fastly approaching. I mean my birthday. My 25th birthday, it's on Friday. How did this happen? We've got a whole day planned out though. Coffee sometime in the a.m. with Daleen and Jenn, lunch with Daleen, Jenn and Megan, dinner and cake with my Granny. Daleen and Jennie pretty much made all of the plans. When Jenn told me what we were doing I had almost already forgotten that our birthday was coming up. Oops. Big deal. Birthdays are stupid after the age of, like, 18.
I've been thinking also, since I'm 25 on Friday, why I haven't really changed in the past 5 years. I mean, emotionally I have and all that, blah blah blah, but I haven't really done anything to contribute to society. I haven't really made the best out of my time. I feel like I haven't really done anything constuctive. The only big goals I've ever had was to travel some and I'm proud that I've accomplished that, even though there is still some traveling I'd like to do, but when it comes to having a career or my own place to live, I've failed. And I know I shouldn't compare myself to others and where they are in their lives, or I shouldn't listen to where society thinks you should be in your life by this age or that age, but it's hard. It's my life. I make the decisions and learn from mistakes. Maybe what's holding me back is the fact that I can't really handle the responsibilities of being an adult, which I'm trying to change everyday. I'm a lot better at handling things now than before I went to Australia but I still struggle. Why is this such an issue?
Then I start thinking about how different my generation is from my grandpa's. I mean, when he was 25, he was already a pro at farming (coming from a farming family, I guess that's a given), he had already served in the army, gotten married and started a family. I'm not saying, by any means, that I want to have a family so young. It's just the fact that he knew what hard work was and did it without complaining. He did something worthy of his time. Steve, my grandpa's nephew and probably the last real farmer in the family, usually comes every year and ploughs and plants corn and other veggies on my grandpa's land. I was watching him from the kitchen window as he was doing his work and was really wishing I knew how to do all of that. I mean, I get if you put a seed in the ground, it will grow (hopefully). But I guess I mean, I wish I knew when the best time to plant certain veggies is, when the soil is best, ect. off the top of my head. I feel like if I knew that, then I could carry on our family job, maybe make my grandpa proud, do something worthy and respectable, get my hands dirty, and feel good because I just did a hard day's work. Something organic and real.
Then this thinking brings me to think about the world if we had adapted Native American ways. The way they treated each other: repectfully, without greed. The things they cared about was family before anything. The way they repected the earth. Our climate, resources and future generations wouldn't be in so much trouble if we just lived simply, without so much complicated technology. I'm convinced that this technology is going to end us. Does this make any sense?
That's right, beyotch. I make the chili!
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