Thursday, December 29, 2011

Changes Are Not Always For the Better

I hadn't realized how long it's been since I've written. Since its been more than a year, of course a lot has changed. I haven't read my previous posts so I don't really know where I left off but here's the past year and then some in a nutshell:

I got my job back at CF (hello pay I can actually live off of!)
The cavelier crapped out on me, not really a surprise as it was a piece of shit the instant I drove off the used car lot with it.
I am now leasing a wonderful, working Toyota.
Jenn and I moved out on our own last June to a nearly 100 year old building in St. Paul. Lets just say it has a lot of character... and the landlord is the cheapest son of a bitch imagainable, but whose isn't?
My best friend unfortunately broke up with her fiance. After being suicide on a stick for the appropriate time, seemed like she was back on her feet but again her new plans were not to be. Oh, yeah, did I mention she stayed with us in the apartment. Emotional rollar coaster is an understatement but I'll always be there for her. Yesterday she flew to Bangkok, then off to Laos (to stay with the c*nt from hell) for a year to teach. Hopefully it is only a year.
Then earlier this week, I found out that a friend I've known since I was 16, is not who he made everyone who cared for him believe he was. He's in serious, serious trouble and I'm brokenhearted. I'm still trying to rectify the person that I knew as dependable, reliable, trustworthy, someone I could trust my life with and who I loved and the person local papers are writing about. I'm so sad.

Daleen, you better follow. Until next time....

Friday, September 3, 2010

I love Minnesota!

It's that time of year again. Minnesota State Fair time! I went with my mom last Saturday to the state fair and got in absolutely free. My aunt Diane is an EMT and usually works a few days at the state fair so she got us in with no charge, which of course is fantastic, since I have zero money and wouldn't have been able to come. Then I went on Wednesday evening with Jennie, Dad and Julie. Ate my weight in french fries, mini donuts, ice cream. I love it.

The one and only bad thing about this time of year is the weather goes from 90 degrees to 60, like today! I'm so cold!

I'm getting really excited for the Twins game Jenn and I are going to on Tuesday! Mauer better be playing, they better win and the weather better be nice is all I have to say. We have excellent dugout seats, courtesy of Dad and Julie for our birthday! I'll be wearing either somethng bright orange or a "vintage" Twins t-shirt that was my Grandpa's. It's from the '87 Twins championship, therefore vintage. Look for us on t.v.! :-)

Friday, July 23, 2010

Update, update

Wow, it's been longer than I thought it was since I last wrote. Just a quick recap: I had an excellent 25th birthday (it didn't hurt, either!). We ended up going to a restaurant in St. Paul called Everest. It was fantastic. We had delicious curry. I've been craving some since then. It was really low-key and fun! Megs, Jenn and I went to see Sex and the City 2. It was okay. Nothing to write home about but still entertaining.

I am still searching for a job. This is ridiculous and I'm exhausted! I've been trying to get ahold of UPS, which is about a minute and a half from my house, but their phones just ring, ring, ring. I almost don't want to work at UPS because the starting pay is $8.50 for uber-hard work (I'd be loading huge trailers in 100 degree weather) and I'd have to work there for a year before I could get any benefits. But I've gone beyond rock bottom so any job will do. And of course everyone has an opinion on how/where I should apply (yes, I did apply there, and there, and there, and there.). My grandma seems to be frustrated with me but what can I do? It's really not my fault the economy is down the shitter.

I had quite the eventful night last Friday night/ Saturday morning. I was sitting in my room about to go to bed when my granny walks by and says, "I don't feel so good." I asked her if she feels like she's going to puke but she said it wasn't that kind of sick. I followed her down the hall and sat on the floor next to the chair she sat in. "I was fine and then I layed down in bed and had this pain in my jaw and like a tightness in my neck and upper chest," is how she explained it. I asked her if it had anything to do with her diabetes/insulin and she said no. I asked if she needed water. No again. I could see her pulse in her neck just pounding rapidly and her breathing became labored. Now I was starting to get scared. I asked if I should call 9-1-1? No, but maybe " I should go into the hospital." I told her I would drive her and stay with her. She had the insane idea that she would go by herself. I went back into my room, got dressed and waited for my granny to get dressed close-by. By this time it was about 1 am. In the kitchen, she grabbed her purse, put on some lipstick and was ready to go. That normal 20-25 minute drive to the hospital drive felt like it would go on forever! Finally got to the ER and they moved her right away to a room The nurses were hooking her up to IV's and monitors. I just sat down and let them do there work. It's so overwhelming to see someone, in this case my gran, whose always been there for you, been strong for you and taken care of you lay on a hospital bed, surrounded by nurses and doctors. I wanted to just break down and cry because it's not something I ever see, but tears wouldn't help. We found out that she was having a Cardiac-arrhythmia and they had to pump her full of some sort of drug to get her heart rate down. It was going at 190 bpm, which is all fine and dandy if you're working out at a gym, but she was going to bed. They decided to admit her for 24 hours to monitor her and try to figure out why her heart did that. You should of seen her face when they told her she'd have to stay overnight. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go home. 24 hours? Does that mean I'll have to be here until tomorrow night?" Yes indeed grams, that's what that means. After Grams was all settled in her room, I left and finally got home around 5 am and called the family to let them know what was going on.
They eventually let her out Saturday evening and she has to do out-patient exams to see if there is any damage to her heart or if that was a one time deal. Thank god, she's okay. The funniest thing about the drama was she was just being regular, concerned Granny. Laying on the hospital bed, getting hooked up to every machine made ever, and having blood drawn, she was asking me if I was okay. She kept saying that I need to get security to walk me out to my car when I leave and to call and tell her when I do get home. I love my Grams.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Ranting, rambling, blah blah blah!

Saturday, Jenn made the vegetarian chili. It was amazing. We had the chili on top of chips with a dollop of guacamole and sour cream. It was quite filling and it really hit the spot! I tried to help make it but Jennie sent me away cause she wanted to do it herself. Okay, so I'll just sit here....

Still no luck on the job front. I applied at UPS online a week ago and haven't heard anything back yet. I tried to find the number online and couldn't, so I went home and looked in 2 phone books and still nothing. I finally just called a UPS Store and they couldn't even give me a number to the particular location where I had applied. He did give me a 1-800 number so I called that and was put on hold for a little bit. Finally talked to someone who was not helpful at all. "Sorry, we don't have any employment information." Great. Since the place is only 2.78 miles away from my house, I decided just to drive down there to see what the hell was going on, only to find that it was closed between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. Ooookkkaaaay. This is so frustrating. Just give me some work, somebody! I'm a hard worker and very loyal, what's the problem, huh?

Well, the dreaded day is fastly approaching. I mean my birthday. My 25th birthday, it's on Friday. How did this happen? We've got a whole day planned out though. Coffee sometime in the a.m. with Daleen and Jenn, lunch with Daleen, Jenn and Megan, dinner and cake with my Granny. Daleen and Jennie pretty much made all of the plans. When Jenn told me what we were doing I had almost already forgotten that our birthday was coming up. Oops. Big deal. Birthdays are stupid after the age of, like, 18.

I've been thinking also, since I'm 25 on Friday, why I haven't really changed in the past 5 years. I mean, emotionally I have and all that, blah blah blah, but I haven't really done anything to contribute to society. I haven't really made the best out of my time. I feel like I haven't really done anything constuctive. The only big goals I've ever had was to travel some and I'm proud that I've accomplished that, even though there is still some traveling I'd like to do, but when it comes to having a career or my own place to live, I've failed. And I know I shouldn't compare myself to others and where they are in their lives, or I shouldn't listen to where society thinks you should be in your life by this age or that age, but it's hard. It's my life. I make the decisions and learn from mistakes. Maybe what's holding me back is the fact that I can't really handle the responsibilities of being an adult, which I'm trying to change everyday. I'm a lot better at handling things now than before I went to Australia but I still struggle. Why is this such an issue?

Then I start thinking about how different my generation is from my grandpa's. I mean, when he was 25, he was already a pro at farming (coming from a farming family, I guess that's a given), he had already served in the army, gotten married and started a family. I'm not saying, by any means, that I want to have a family so young. It's just the fact that he knew what hard work was and did it without complaining. He did something worthy of his time. Steve, my grandpa's nephew and probably the last real farmer in the family, usually comes every year and ploughs and plants corn and other veggies on my grandpa's land. I was watching him from the kitchen window as he was doing his work and was really wishing I knew how to do all of that. I mean, I get if you put a seed in the ground, it will grow (hopefully). But I guess I mean, I wish I knew when the best time to plant certain veggies is, when the soil is best, ect. off the top of my head. I feel like if I knew that, then I could carry on our family job, maybe make my grandpa proud, do something worthy and respectable, get my hands dirty, and feel good because I just did a hard day's work. Something organic and real.

Then this thinking brings me to think about the world if we had adapted Native American ways. The way they treated each other: repectfully, without greed. The things they cared about was family before anything. The way they repected the earth. Our climate, resources and future generations wouldn't be in so much trouble if we just lived simply, without so much complicated technology. I'm convinced that this technology is going to end us. Does this make any sense?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I think I have issues...with food.

I'm craving vegetarian chili like nobody knows! When I was staying with Mel in Wollongong (or as Jennie has dubbed it Boringong) she made the most amazing vegetarian chili I have ever had. She used Moby's (yeah, the musician) recipe but has altered it to her liking. These past few days I've been going to different Barnes and Noble bookstores to see if they carry the cookbook that Moby and someone else published (I can't remember her name...sorry!). I found the book at the Mall of America yesterday and wrote the recipe down only to find out today that Jennie finally got her to give up her recipe over Facebook! I think we're going to try it out this weekend, hopefully. We also asked for Mel's curry recipe, which is also to die for, but she wouldn't give it up because it's her secret recipe. Sad face.

I've been trying to make better decisions on what I eat since I've come back from OZ, where I lost nearly 20lbs. I think I've gained much of it back. I'm facing the fact that I might possibly have an eating addiction because I find myself thinking about what I want to eat next an half an hour after I have already eaten. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat when I'm bored. I don't eat when I'm truly sad, so I guess my eating is a good sign that I'm not severely depressed. Har, har. I've tried to start exercising more. I started to run a little bit, but I'm not consistent enough for it to actually benefit from it. Do I just not care enough about my body to get serious about my health? I like being curvy, but I need to develop healthy eating habits and exercise! I'm so adamant about my skin care, and my hair care, and even other's health before mine? What's going on?

I'm starting to eat less crap in my main meals, though. My lovely grandmother has stocked me up on meatless burgers, soy chicken patties (which are really tasty, don't judge!), and such. I love my Gran. It's really meant a lot that she's done that but sometimes she still doesn't grasp the fact that I'm not eating meat. Or poultry. Or seafood. One day she asked me if I wanted Tator-tot hot dish. "There's no chicken in it, just ground beef," she says. Uhm, no, thank you Granny. One other time she asked me if I wanted to have some turkey. That would also be no. And not only because I'm a full-on vegetarian now, but because we have 5 or 6 wild turkeys that live in our neighborhood that I have grown to love!

More on this later.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Back Home

Finally got home on the 16th of March (two months ago already!) and it feels so great. I'm not going to fall back into that routine which usually leads to feeling like I was stuck in a rut. I work at it everyday and everyday it's struggle. But I have a plan for the next phase of my life, and that's a first.

The flight from Sydney to L.A. went by quickly. I took a handful of Dramamine before I got on the plane and watched about 5 movies while we were flying. I would recommend flying Virgin and if I can, I'm probably going to try to fly with Virgin on future trips. They were so friendly, polite, clean, and..well, pretty. Jenn and I prepared ourselves for our 7 1/2 hour layover at LAX and bought an all day pass for the wireless were we tried to catch up on all the LOST we missed, but by the 3rd episode, we really couldn't stay focused.

The time came when we were supposed to board our Delta flight back to Minnesota. I hate flying domestic, especially with Delta. It was so chaotic. Our flight didn't take off until 3:30 in the morning, 6 hours after our original flight time. The plane's wing had a broken part on it so they told us they were trying to find out if there was a new part to replace it, locally. Of course there wasn't. They then directed us to another gate to get onto a new, unbroken plane that was about 40 seats smaller than the first. It took another hour or so of the Delta people asking if there was anyone who could delay going home tonight. They put those people up in hotels for two nights and gave them food vouchers. If Jenn and I hadn't just spent 15 hours on a plane, 13 hours in an airport and actually had had some sleep, we probably would have taken them up on the offer! I'd always wanted to see L.A. but at that point I just wanted to get home. We were so close!

After figuring out who would stay behind, they had to redistribute new tickets. That was hell. No one knew what they were doing, including the Delta employees. Jenn and I finally got our new tickets and got on the plane. We had to wait for another hour for the flight attendants to get on the same page and for the rest of the passengers to sit down. FINALLY, we took off at about 3:30! I was so cold on the flight because I was sitting by the window. That was the first time on all of my flights that I have gotten a seat by the window and it wasn't that bad. I thought for sure I'd get sick as usual, but I was fine.

Off the plane in Minnesota, Jenn and I thought that our mom, who was the lucky one to pick us up, would have bombarded us. But surprisingly: nothing. We got our baggage and headed out the door and there was our mom, sitting in her truck. She didn't see us come out so I went and pounded on her window and scared the crap out of her. It was great fun.

After 24 hours + of no sleep, I surprisingly got my 2nd wind and agreed to drive to Wisconsin with my mom to surprise my older sister, who was visiting with my nephews, for her birthday. We told her we weren't coming back home for another month. We first saw our 3 year old nephew and as soon as he saw us he said "Oh my gosh!" That was the longest, and tightest hug I've gotten from him! After quietly kissing and hugging our nephews, my sister was called upstairs. We screamed Happy Birthday as soon as we saw her and gave her huge hugs. It's funny when you can literally see someone try to register something on their face, and that's exactly what Kassie was doing as soon as she saw us. Jenn and I had a bet going on. I bet that she would get her red blotches and cry and Jennie bet that she would just be like "whatever." She was really happy to see us but to my disappointment, no tears! Blast!

Like I said before, we've been home for 2 months and all the while I've been trying to find a job! I'm so poor, I could cry, and have! I even reapplied to Cub. Yeah.. that desperate. I'm so exhausted at applying, interviewing and not getting anything. Well, I did get a job at Stride Rite but I had to leave.... That's a different story that maybe I'll talk about later. Please hire me somebody! And unfortunately I've had to ask my dad (of all the stinkin' people) to help me out with bills. I have always been so proud of the fact that I've never had to borrow money of others, that I was always the one helping people out. It's really hard to ask. I hate this position I'm in right now but I am trying to find a new job. Tomorrow I think I'm going to call about newspaper deliveries. Not the ideal work, but it's good money. And I don't really mind having to get up that early as long as I can go back to bed!

Later, amigos.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Uhhh

Jenn and I are sitting on a stinky couch in Wollongong, Australia, watching a movie in our hostel lobby. There is another young man watching, whom, apparently, thinks it's okay to put his hand down his pants and have a feel. Excuse me, I don't want to see that.

So it has been a while since I've updated. I don't think I'll go into detail right now, but we have seen a lot. We've worked our way up from Wollongong to Agnes Water along the east coast here in Australia. Even though I'm quite sick of hostel life, we have met some really great people from all over the world. And have some pretty funny stories to tell from our experiences.

We made it all the way up to Agnes Water- Town of 1770 and then had to come back down to Wollongong to stay with Mel, with a stop in Brisbane, which I think is my favourite city so far, until we got our tax refunds. Our plan now is to go back up to Cairns, which is way, way up there, and dive in the Great Barrier Reef. And then come home. With a little bit of money. Jenn and I have been talking about finding our own place to live since we got to Australia, which is a little odd. My plan when I get home is to go back to school for my esthitician license, and find a nice, comfy spa job.

Mel has been really great. She has made it really easy and has helped us out so much. I'm so gratefull. I can't wait until she and Tom come to the U.S. and gets to stay with us (hopefully in our own place!).

That's all for now. I think when I finally get home I can go into detail about our trip here. It's hard finding wi-fi and when you do, it costs a lot of money.

Oh, yeah... Amanda should be having her Noah any day now and I'm so excited for her!! I'm going to find something real Australian to send to the baby!

Later